Ann Maria Bell
High School Flashback
January 20, 2004
The Discontent of My
Pathos of Human Existence and
Seasonal Weather Patterns in the
Midwestern United States
Not only does the weather in Madison, Wisconsin
fail to promote human happiness, it is malicious and spiteful as well.
Discussion and conclusions
- Recurring and persistent weather trends
in Madison, WI that contribute directly to human misery, ie.
- Lack of snow
- Third winter in a row with a precipitation deficit
- Limited opportunities for winter
- Frozen ground and dirty patches of snow are
- Abundance of snow in other parts of country/world
Much higher than average snowfall on the east coast of the
United States for the past two winters
- 12 inches of snow in
- Excess of cold
- Further limits opportunities for
- Makes you fat
- Increases appetite
- Makes you fat
- Clothing necessitated by excess cold
resembles that worn by South Park
- Makes you look even fatter than
you really are which in Wisconsin is really saying something
- Frostbite and hypothermia do not
"build character" no matter what my mother says.
- Lack of sun
- I'd throw myself into the lake if I
could find a hole in the ice that was big enough
- Recent weather events that have occurred for the
specific purpose of making me miserable
- Ice skating conditions on Lake Mendota
- The temperature in Madison
dropped relatively slowly this year and the lake still hadn't
frozen completely when I got back here on the 8th.
After a week or so of bitterly cold "character
building" weather the ice was solid and I
walked out from the Memorial Union to discover the
most amazingly smooth expanse of black ice I had
ever seen. The next day Bill & I grabbed our
skates and headed onto the lake. It was truly
awesome, the best skating conditions I've ever seen
outdoors. We could have skated for miles, out to
Picnic Point or even all the
way across the lake, with a little clambering over rough
patches. I couldn't wait to go back out.
- Within 12 hours 1/2 inch of
icy drizzle had fallen, the only precipitation in Madison
since we got back, completely ruining the
surface of the ice.
- Deceptive return of the sun on January 18, 2004
- The skies in Madison, Wisconsin were
completely gray and featureless, casting a weak
dirty featureless light on the barren snowless dirt
for four soul crushing days in a row from January
14 - 17. Late on the 17th, with the temperature
hovering near 30 and a slight misty fog hanging in
the air the stars came out over head. The next
morning the sun was shining brightly and the sky was crystal blue. I was so
happy to see the sun again that I jumped
out of bed and told Bill that I was going outside
- Then I checked the weather.
- 4 F
- winds 12 mph out of the NW.
- -11 F wind chill factor
- Several locations in the United States
and around the world have weather which is
preferable to the weather in Madison, Wisconsin.
- Santa Cruz, California
- Sydney, Australia
- currently summer in Australia
- Juneau, Alaska
- currently 32 degrees warmer in Juneau than
- Transporting my body to one of these
locations would likely result in my experiencing
weather which is more conducive to human happiness
as well as less spiteful and malicious than the weather that I
am currently experiencing in Madison, Wisconsin.