mind eating time
now that I'm back in madison I've decided to go back to doing timed
free-writing exercises every day. for much of this summer an internal logjam obstructed the flow
of words, at least written ones. email languished and my
blog entries aged as I diverted the remaining trickle into building the
this morning I headed to steep 'n' brew,
state st.'s ur coffeeshop, notebook in pack and goofy digital egg timer
in hand. I got a cup of coffee first and stared into the ether. I waited
for the cup to be empty then stared into the ether some more. I said hey
to the guy who showed me how to change the security setting so I could
use the wireless internet at another coffeeshop earlier in the week. I
hit the button on the timer and watched it start counting down from
14:59. finally I scribbled my pen slowly across the page.
it takes me an hour to write for fifteen minutes.
what does my brain do the other forty-five? it
talks to itself like a painfully self-involved homeless person, like an
absent-minded driver chattering into a cell phone long after
the connection has been lost, like a university professor lecturing to a
roomful of students that loiter on the dull edge of consciousness.
incorporeal words dance with abandon across my synapses while my
fingers are paralyzed above the keyboard and the pen slips unnoticed
from my limp hand. my mind eats time.
this just in
from the instant friends department.
your name: Barbara Frederick
My name is Barbara Frederick and I'm a casting director - I saw your website today
while doing research (Dork Club).
maybe you guys can help!
Please read below:
Thanks for your time!
Were You A Geek In School?
Were you a geek in school? Were you ever bullied, embarrassed, tormented, picked-on
or humiliated? WOULD YOU LIKE TO GET EVEN WITH THAT PERSON ON TV?! Tell us your
story, including whether or not you have videos, photos, or memorabilia of the time/people/incident
and how we can get in touch with you. Shoot us over a photo along with your story
geekpower @ nashentertainment.com
call me paranoid, but the first thing that occurs to me is
how do you know the joke's not on you? how do you know that the actual
outcome of the show's promise of revenge won't end up with the "bully"
getting the upper hand once again? dishonesty of this sort is a key
element in several reality-tv shows.
or maybe I'm just offended that barbara didn't want to be my friend.
what's brown and sticky?
today's joke brought to you by
back 2 earth, organizers of excellent backpacking & yoga
adventures in yosemite. proper sanitation is
critical to protecting the back country so eric and
ari made sure
that everyone on the trip knew what to do when it came time to do
it. one of their key points was that "pack it in, pack it out" applies
to toilet paper as well as clif bar wrappers. a small zip lock bag,
which can be
hidden inside a paper bag for the squeamish, does the trick. sadly,
many hikers and backpackers haven't learned this one.
the scatological meets the etymological
in ari and eric's euphemism for doing your business: "I have to drop the kids off at
the pool." I have enshrined it next to "I have to talk to a man about
a dog" in my pantheon of obscure references to bodily functions.
are brown sticky things inherently humorous? it's not too late to vote! the infamous "is
poop funny?" quiz from back in may is making a comeback, with a
summary of the results so far.
here's the original quiz:
Avis was rolling a ball of sticky brown gunk that looked suspiciously
like, um, a ball of sticky brown gunk, around in a bowl of toasted
"Peanut butter, wheat germ, sunflower seeds, raisins, honey, and of
course, chocolate chips," he announced for my benefit then gestured
toward the plate of balls. They looked a lot more like food after they
were covered in coconut.
the tribe has spoken...
poop is funny.
a total of 30 valid votes with ages ranging
from 3 to 1000 were cast. overall, funny beat unfunny by a 2 to 1 margin, and
"poop is funny" beat "poop is not funny" 3 to 1. julie says not only
is poop funny, so is co-op food . jason demurs: he prefers that his food
be kept far away from feces, fictional or otherwise.
file quiz results
under "people with way too much time on their
- I washed my sneakers. I ran them through the
washing machine along with the bathmats. they look brand new. should have done
that months ago --- you wouldn't wear the same pair of
socks to the gym 30 times without washing them, would you?
- I swam a mile. nicki, the coach for the master's swim
sessions at the gym, kicked my butt with repeated sets of
100 yards, each one faster than the last. (she
kept time.) after I got home I collapsed on the couch. then I
stood in front of the mirror flexing my arms to see if I have
any muscles yet. thanks to the swim coach and personal trainer provided by
the gym I now
know the names of all the muscles I don't have in my upper body.
- I watched two episodes of farscape. bill and I are continuing our summer-long binge
courtesy of the san jose public
library and netflix, we're just about done
with season 3. newsflash: watching tv, even if it's not really tv because
it's on a dvd, reduces the amount of time available for other activities
such as reading books. there's still one more episode to go on the dvd.
and another season after this one.
I've done lots more interesting stuff in sunny california this
summer, yoga & backpacking in yosemite, whale watching in monterey
bay, shakespeare santa cruz, but somehow I never seem to get around to writing
about it in my blog. go figure.
may all the numberless beings who are sick
be quickly freed from sickness
after a couple of days of feverish battle against an army
of unidentified microbes my immune system has successfully returned my
bodily functions to a semblance of homeostasis. this was likely just a
passing virus, the only symptoms being a fever, aching muscles and joints,
and some minor stomach distress. I had optimal conditions for
recovery, my time is unstructured and I have almost no commitments,
no kids needing breakfast
and a ride to soccer camp,
no binding financial constraints that force a tradeoff between
time spent at work and money to pay the bills. yesterday after napping in
the morning I went to the gym a block away, soothed my muscles in the hot
tub then sat on a lounge chair by the pool and napped all afternoon.
and yet, even with free time, a lounge chair, a hot tub and a
sick is no fun:
it hurts. it's exhausting. it's boring.
sickness, old age and death, enough suffering is born into the human
condition to last a lifetime. but somehow it isn't enough ---
a cursory look at the news or a quick recap of the 20th century shows that the ocean of suffering
is swollen many times over by human choices and human actions.
it doesn't take a fever of 101.5 to reduce much of human history to an
At this very moment for the peoples and nations of the
May not even the names disease, famine, war, and suffering be heard.
But rather may pure conduct, merit, wealth and prosperity increase,
And may supreme good fortune and well being always arise.